Friends: Are You a Plus or a Minus?
Friendship is one of the most powerful relationships we experience in life. The question is: Are you the kind of friend who is a positive influence, or are you a negative force in your friendships?
If you ever want to have a weird conversation about friendship, try asking Siri about it. But don’t do it right now! I tried it once, and Siri told me, “I don’t have personal relationships or feelings like humans do, so I can’t have friends. But I do listen and I do share.” I thought, "Wow, Siri may actually be a better friend than some people!"
That conversation got me thinking: What does it mean to be a true friend? And more importantly, can we be a friend of God? Siri didn’t have an answer for that one, but the Bible does.
The Friend That Sticks Closer Than a Brother
Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” While the verse doesn’t name that friend explicitly, we know from scripture that God is the ultimate friend—one who never leaves or forsakes us. But to be the right kind of friend, we must first be friendly ourselves.
If you find yourself struggling to build strong friendships, ask yourself: Am I being the kind of friend I’d want to have?
Here are four key characteristics of a true friend:
1. Trustworthiness
Friendships are built on trust. Have you ever had a friend you would trust with your life? Over my years in ministry, I’ve been blessed with friends like that—people who have stood by me through thick and thin. If you want good friends, be the kind of person others can trust. Do people trust you? Can they count on you? Being a trustworthy friend is one of the most valuable traits you can develop.
2. A Good Listener
Being a friend doesn’t always mean giving advice. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply listen. I have a friend who calls me regularly, and there have been times when he’s talked for over two hours while I’ve said maybe three words! But I know he just needs someone to listen. Friendship isn’t about always having the right words—it’s about being present.
3. Loyalty
Disloyalty is a friendship killer. Have you ever had someone you thought was a friend turn around and talk behind your back? A true friend is someone who stands by you, even when others walk away. Loyalty means defending your friends when they aren’t in the room and standing with them in difficult times.
4. Celebrating Your Friends’ Wins
Jealousy can ruin friendships. A true friend rejoices when their friend succeeds—even if they themselves are struggling. Maybe your friend gets a promotion, a new car, or an opportunity you wish you had. Can you be genuinely happy for them? A good friend celebrates others, even when their own blessings feel far away.
The Greatest Friend: God
Beyond human friendships, there’s one friendship that surpasses all others—our relationship with God. The religious leaders of Jesus’ time criticized Him for being a “friend of sinners” (Luke 7:34), but that’s exactly why we should be grateful! Jesus came to seek and save those who were lost (Luke 19:10), proving that God wants to be our friend, despite our imperfections.
Why is God the greatest friend you could ever have?
God loves us unconditionally – John 15:13 says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus did exactly that—He gave His life for us, not because we deserved it, but because He loves us.
God is always there – Deuteronomy 31:6 reminds us, “He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” Even when we drift away from Him, He remains faithful.
God forgives – 1 John 1:9 tells us, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us.” No matter how far we’ve strayed, God welcomes us back with open arms.
Becoming a Friend of God
If you’ve never thought about your relationship with God in terms of friendship, maybe it’s time to start. Jesus made it clear that He came to build relationships, not just enforce rules. The Bible says that He died on the cross and rose again so that we could be reconciled with Him and experience eternal life.
Being a friend of God isn’t about being perfect—it’s about accepting His invitation. Just like with human friendships, it requires trust, listening, loyalty, and celebrating His goodness in our lives.
Final Thought
Friendship, whether with others or with God, is a two-way street. If you want to have good friends, be a good friend. If you want to experience a deeper relationship with God, seek Him. He’s always waiting, always listening, and always ready to be the friend that sticks closer than a brother.
So, are you a friend who adds value to others’ lives, or are you a minus in your friendships? And more importantly, have you made God your friend? It’s a choice worth making today.
