If you’ve ever seen the “For Dummies” books, you know their purpose is to take complicated topics—plumbing, computer programming, even chess—and break them down so anyone can understand. Since 1991, over 300 of these guides have been published, all with the same goal: making the complicated simple.
In many ways, that’s what the Bible does for us. Life is full of complicated and overwhelming issues, but God has given us His Word to put the truth on the “lower shelf,” where we can reach it. One of those issues is forgiveness.
Forgiveness can feel complicated—especially when we’ve been hurt deeply—but Scripture shows us how to approach it with simplicity. The bottom line? We need to get forgiveness and we need to give forgiveness.
Why Forgiveness Matters
C.S. Lewis once said, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” In other words, because God has forgiven us completely, we should extend the same grace to others—even when their actions feel “inexcusable.”
Unforgiveness isn’t harmless. Like an untreated infection, it grows and spreads. The story of President James Garfield illustrates this well: after being shot, doctors repeatedly probed his wound, searching for the bullet. The wound itself wasn’t fatal—but the infection caused by all the probing eventually killed him.
The same happens with unforgiveness. It isn’t always the original wrong that destroys us, but our refusal to let go, our constant “probing” of the wound.
What Holds Us Back?
Many of us cling to unforgiveness because of:
Selfishness – believing we have the right to hold a grudge.
Pride – comparing ourselves to others and assuming we’re “better.”
Fear of confrontation – avoiding difficult conversations.
Confusion – simply not knowing how to forgive.
But Scripture doesn’t leave us guessing—it gives us a clear path forward.
Learning from Joseph
Joseph’s story in Genesis 45 is one of the clearest pictures of forgiveness in the Bible. Betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused, and imprisoned—Joseph had every reason to be bitter. Yet when his brothers came to him years later, desperate for help, he had already chosen forgiveness.
Joseph teaches us three powerful lessons:
Forgiveness should be done quickly.
He had forgiven his brothers long before they showed up in Egypt. Holding onto bitterness would have poisoned his heart and blocked God’s blessing.
Forgiveness should be done quietly.
Joseph didn’t make a public spectacle of his brothers’ betrayal. He dismissed the crowd and dealt with the matter privately. True forgiveness doesn’t need an audience.
Forgiveness should be given freely.
Just as God forgives without condition when we confess, Joseph extended grace to his brothers without demanding repayment.
Freedom Through Forgiveness
Forgiveness isn’t just about setting others free—it’s about freeing ourselves. When we refuse to forgive, we remain in slavery to the offense. When we forgive, we experience the same release that God has given us.
A simple story illustrates this: a young boy once accidentally killed his grandmother’s pet duck with a slingshot. His sister saw what happened and blackmailed him—forcing him to do her chores by whispering, “Remember the duck.” Finally, the boy confessed to his grandmother, who replied, “I saw it happen. I had already forgiven you. I was just wondering how long you were going to let your sister make you her slave.”
That’s what unforgiveness does—it keeps us enslaved. But in Christ, forgiveness has already been offered. All that remains is for us to receive it—and extend it.
A Final Word
God doesn’t complicate forgiveness. He makes it simple:
Receive His forgiveness.
Extend forgiveness to others.
Stop “probing” old wounds.
When we do, we step out of slavery and into freedom.
